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|Happy Holidays, Brilanders!|
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|Page 1 of 1||Total of 12 messages|
|Posted by:||Dec 18th 2006, 01:36:58 pm|
|smitty||You're so right, Kristi.I do however talk only of Martini's.That other stuff ain't alcohol.Have a great holiday, kid.|
|Posted by:||Dec 18th 2006, 01:01:09 pm|
|kristi||on that note...I'd like to wish everyone a very happy holiday season. Take care...|
|Posted by:||Dec 18th 2006, 09:21:00 am|
|kristi||I thought the subject was "happy holidays" - why do you guys always change the subject and end up talking about alcohol???|
|Posted by:||Dec 13th 2006, 07:47:10 am|
|smitty||What, don't you like snobs?|
|Posted by:||Dec 12th 2006, 03:59:54 pm|
|Kimberly||Can Absolut drinkers really afford to be snobs ;-)?|
|Posted by:||Dec 12th 2006, 02:53:59 pm|
|smitty||A Goombay Smash or Mint Julip?Suspicions confirmed, he's a peasant.|
|Posted by:||Dec 12th 2006, 02:15:48 pm|
|smitty||I tried thinking and feeling clearly once, but nobody recognized me.Merry Christmas Colon.|
|Posted by:||Dec 12th 2006, 01:32:56 pm|
|Colin||Ronnie's Goombays are required drinking for decent people during the holidays. They are Christmas incarnate: fresh, delicious and they provide you the ability to feel and think clearly.
Martinis are for those dessicated East Coast types who were chronicled so well in Miracle on 34th Street.... Couldn't see Santa when he was sitting in front em...
We are off to Australia for Christmas and wish Rika, Bull's son and everyone else at Runaway, Kimberly and anyone who reads this the most fabulous, joyous and happy Christmas ever.
Colin, Judith and Campbell.
Campbell keeps asking when we are going back to Briland. Anothe aspiring Brilander, I'm tinkin...
|Posted by:||Dec 12th 2006, 12:17:08 pm|
|Kimberly||Last I heard, Smitty, Santa preferred one of Ronnie's Goombay Smashes to help him on his merry way. Or at the very least, a Mount Gay mint julep to get things started at the workshop in time for the Boxing Day Junkanoo on Bay Street.|
|Posted by:||Dec 12th 2006, 10:39:13 am|
|smitty||Kimberly- I'm impressed by your math.Can I interest you in a job in Engineering or at least to do my homework? (I never did believe in that sucker, especially when I left him a terrific martini and it was still there Christmas morning)|
|Posted by:||Dec 12th 2006, 12:49:15 am|
|Kimberly||Do you believe in Santa?
1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only
Santa has ever seen.
2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million
according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5
children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever
snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles,
not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
4.This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
5. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that
each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could
pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison -
this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
6. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer
behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater
than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
|Posted by:||Dec 9th 2006, 12:58:20 pm|
|Fig Tree News Team||Twas a Briland Christmas and all down the beach,
Pink sand stretched as far as it could reach.
The flippers were hung on the porches with care,
In the hopes that Santa soon would drift there.
The locals were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of guava duff danced in their heads.
Bahama Mama in her pareo and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a tropical nap.
When out in the night there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my hammock to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains and let out a gasp.
The moon on the water, how it did glow,
Giving a luster of midday to the palm trees below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sailboat ever so near.
With a little old captain so lively and quick,
I thought for a moment, "Could it be St. Nick?"
More rapid than the waves, the dolphins they came
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
"Now Flipper, now Moby, now Sebastian and Willy,
On Flounder, on Orca, on Jaws and Charlie --
From the edge of this reef to our port of call,
Now swim away, swim away, swim away all!"
And then in a twinkling I heard on the beach,
The chirping and chattering and splashing of each.
As I redrew the curtains and was turning around,
Through the front door St. Nicholas came with a bound.
Dressed in his trunks with a Kalik in his hand,
His feet were all covered with snow-like pink sand.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a tourist just opening his pack.
His eyes - how they twinkle, his dimples how merry,
His cheeks were sunburned, his nose like a cherry.
His droll little mouth cracked a big smile,
The goatee on his chin, showed he could be kinda wild.
The snorkel he held tight in his teeth,
The mask it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a red face and a sunburned belly,
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
With trunks and a sky juice, that strange old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A flash of the peace sign and a nod of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the flippers, then turned with a jerk.
Now laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, out the door he goes.
He sprang to his sloop, to his team gave a call,
And away they swam past Man Island and all.
But I heard him exclaim as he traveled out of sight,
"Christmas in Briland … that's doin' it right!"
(With heartfelt thanks to
Nick Campbell, Debby Midwood and Texas Bob at e-mail Midwood@gte.net, who let us update their original classic)
us online at