Posted by Island peach on April 17, 2002 at 20:55:37:
I came across this tongue-in-cheek trip report from the BVI. As you can see, there is a common thread running throughout
this report that we can all appreciate and, of course, people who have been to BVI!
"...We departed New York on February 30th of this year, flying into St Thomas. We were thrilled to see all the traffic, fast
food, large ships, and multitude of shops in Charlotte Amalie. There's nothing I like more on vacation that enjoying a nice
Burger King burger, a hotel room about 20 floors up, casinos, hairy back contests, and good ol' Budweiser. We sure are
looking forward to a nice relaxing week in Tortoly.
We were told to find the ferry to West End. What kind of a boat is that?! It doesn't look like any ferry I've ever seen, and the
people working at the ticket counter were so inefficient. They need to learn some good ol' US customer service. The ferry ride
over was OK, but where are all the high-rises? I'm beginning to get a little worried. We docked and were told to go through
customs. Where's the A/C? Again, everyone moves too slow, and they don't seem to respond when I tell them I'm in a hurry.
We finally get through and are told to get onto an open air bus-truck thing to go to the resort. I'm just hoping that once I get on
the grounds things will get better. There are animals all over the place, and I haven't seen a McDonalds yet.
We drove over some hills and up to a small open-air building. This can't be the resort. Where's the tower, the casino, the fast
food? This isn't looking good. We checked in to a large room, but where is the carpet, the Nintendo, the pay-per-view porn? We
went to the pool area by the beach, and I couldn't find an activity coordinator anywhere to ask about toga night or when the sexy
legs contest was supposed to start. It seems that everyone here is a bunch of duds, laying on the beach, drinking Kainpillers or
something like that. We went to another beach "Snugglers Cove", I think, but there wasn't even a single lifeguard there, and
there was no boardwalk to be found.
For dinner we were told to go to a local restaurant. We got a taxi over, and couldn't believe our eyes. Plastic tables, no A/C, and
worst of all, no 24 ounce T-bone on the menu! All I wanted was a nice steak and a Bud. They tried to get me to eat something
called a Row-tee but no way am I eating that. We went back to the "resort" and looked for the disco. As you may have guessed,
there isn't one.
The rest of the week, from February 31st on, was much the same. This place really needs to get with the program! Build some
high-rises, some McDonalds, a few nice casinos, train the people to become aggressive beach vendors, get a Diamonds
International on every streetcorner. Then it'd be paradise!"